To borrow a (currently unreleased) quote from my upcoming personal blog post, “I do love a good farce”, so sit down and strap on as I tell you a tale from the annals of Elden Ring!

The year is twenty-two and twenty, a decently-sunny yet chilly March morn. Elden Ring and Horizon Forbidden West released back-to-back, Sifu was fun, one of my blogs was sent to the big-mandem at Nintendo. This is the setting in which we fall upon our hero, a professional Redditeer by the monicer u/xdc_lis, who shall henceforth be referred to as Lizzie Marvel!

Twas a common pastime of trolls and ne’er do wells to invade the worlds of their fellow virtual countrymen and perform acts of varying moral fortitude on them. This usually comes in the form of players “invading” each other’s worlds, be it for cooperation, a duel or dishonorable assassination attempts!

While farming for in-game souls (experience points), our epic protagonist Lizzie spotted a far away rival player seeking to inflict death and destruction!

Luckily for Lizzie, they were adorned in the fashion of nearby NPCs (non-playable characters), so with quick-thinking and shrewd intellect, they drew no weapon except a trusty torch and walked up and down the pasture! The hunt was on and an impostor was… Among Us!

Our deadly invader searched high and low for Lizzie, not unlike every pro-monarchist when the Queen had to “enter a new phase“!

Lizzie’s mega-minded strategy of hiding in plain sight was a success and the invader soon left, never to return again.

The End (or as the Swedish say… SLUT).

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The post The Elden Ring Caper: An NPC Among Us! first appeared on Get2Gaming.

I may be a couple years too late to say this, but in the unlikely (or likely, depending who you ask) event of a second trip to “Loch Down”, Gartic Phone (developed by Onrizon Social Games) is one of the best free-to-play games for your socially-distanced needs! And stay tuned for a few of my own Gartic Phone highlights!

First, you fire up your laptop, search for Gartic Phone via your preferred search engine, be it Bing, Ecosia, or even Rule34 if you’re in a particularly good mood and would like to ruin it! Then punch in your username, share the room link to three or more mates and Bob’s your uncle! Prepare to enter The Fun Zone!

The Fun Zone (Gameplay): First off, you get to type up a silly prompt for someone to draw. If you’re not creative enough to come up with something yourself, no trouble, an example prompt will pop up until you start typing. Once the time limit to write is finished, you then use Microsoft Paint-like drawing tools to attempt bringing someone else’s prompt to life. Alternatively, you have to guess and type in a prompt to interpret what fresh-hell of cubist insanity someone else drew before you! The end result is a show reel revealing how how hilariously right or wrong everyone got it!

The results are especially rib-tickling if you and your mates are playing with Discord or other voice chat apps in the background to get the best reactions to a picture followed by hilariously unrelated prompt or prompt followed by stick figures in awkward situations.

Various game modes with different rules or adjustments let tailor your improvised competitive shenanigan sessions to you and your friends’ preferences.

1. Normal: As discussed up-top.
2. Knock-Off: Replicate drawings while the clock gets faster.
3. Secret: Your creations are hidden till the grand finale.
4. Animation: Create animations with others.
5. Icebreaker: Ask questions and let your drawings run wild.
6. Complement: You start with basic lines and see the other players’ interpretation.
7. Score: Attempt to gain the highest score.
8. Speedrun: Speedrunning is Awesome, Here’s Why.
9. Sandwich: Start writing and drawing until the end.
10. Crowd: 15+ player battle royale!
11. Background: Create a fixed background for your animations.
12. Solo: Make animations in just five frames.
13. Custom: Does what it says on the tin!

Gartic Phone is available on PC and Mobile in many languages (including Hebrew, Persian, Korean, and Vietnamese).

The post Gartic Phone is AMAZING! Here’s Why! + Voucher first appeared on Get2Gaming.

Roses are red, I drink from a cup. PlayStation nonces? FBI, OPEN UP!

The former PlayStation Network VP, George Cacioppo, was filmed and caught allegedly trying to pay for sex from someone posing as a 15 year old boy. The events that lead to the video releasing were orchestrated by the YouTube channel People V. Preds. Their George Cacioppo video can be found here. Skip to about a minute in, since half the video is basically repeating the channel’s trailer verbatim.

The video claims George spoke with the “15 year old” decoy via Grindr, then exchanged pictures with him and gave his address to arrange for intercourse.

For all one of my (known) readers who knows who Hasan Piker is, the next paragraph is going to be my attempt at a text-based impression of him, as all my real-life impression attempts end up sounding like a stereotypical Jewish mum talking to Becky about the Keeping Up With the Kardashians at the hair salon:

“Ho-lee shit dewd!  IN A PS5 T-SHIRT! You know, because repping your own merch is top-priority when you’re trying to bone someone, I guess. Dewd recording this was accusing George of pedophilia, IN 4K, ON THE TIMELINE!” – Pasan Hiker: A Made-Up Person.

The folks at Sony confirmed the firing of George just yesterday according to the Cnet article where the firing was announced. I bring this up to say TAKE NOTE ACTIVISION BLIZZARD! If the folks at Sony can fire someone based on one (to my knowledge) alleged act of criminality, then Bobby “I Have A History of Sexual Assault Accusations” Kotick should’ve been out of the game long ago.

Even if these allegations are shown to be false later on, the fact the San Diego police didn’t immediately respond to the report (according to Cnet) is more than a little telling of how lax the police have been with crimes involving people with great financial power. Like, I’m not saying ACAB, but I think it’s safe to say SCAB at this point.

The folks at People V. Preds also talked to Kotaku, saying they released the video online because ‘The police don’t work with cyber groups like us’. If you’ll indulge me a little, this reminds me of a similar (though substantially less severe) version of this issue I’ve experienced, so sit down and strap in.

Once upon a time, an entire essay I wrote got randomly deleted from some inconceivable point in time between me going to sleep after pulling consecutive all-nighters and waking up the next day! Because I couldn’t prove that large chunks of the thing were deleted outside of my control, that specific part of my report was denied for ECs. Like, I know it sounds like a “dog ate my homework” situation, but you’ll just have to trust me on that one!

I bring it up because hey, the internet is becoming steadily more and more intertwined with life in general, maybe people shouldn’t be so quick to write off online groups or spaces as always being inferior to The Real Thing TM. Something TheStoryteller brought up was that online activism, while commonly maligned by slacktivism critics, is very much a legitimate form of activism in different contexts, especially regarding disabled people who may not be physically capable of independently rolling up to a protest march with a sign in-hand.

A briefly sincere call to action: The Storyteller is one of the best black British content creators out there and severely underrated. Outside of his media analysis videos and political video essays on racism and social issues, he has also announced plans for a Peckham-based food bank project. Find out more on his Free Huey project covered near the end of his video on mutual aid and charity. Free Huey plans to provide food, essential hygiene products and a selection of books by famous (and underrated) black figures. You can vote on what books get included if you donate to the initiative.

Product Poems and Voucher?

Capitalism: Pay sixty-four quid for fifty-quid card gift!

Fractured, but whole. This is mine. Fractured, but whole. Yours too tonight?

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The post PlayStation VP, Alleged Pedophile + New Voucher Codes! first appeared on Get2Gaming.