To borrow a (currently unreleased) quote from my upcoming personal blog post, “I do love a good farce”, so sit down and strap on as I tell you a tale from the annals of Elden Ring!
The year is twenty-two and twenty, a decently-sunny yet chilly March morn. Elden Ring and Horizon Forbidden West released back-to-back, Sifu was fun, one of my blogs was sent to the big-mandem at Nintendo. This is the setting in which we fall upon our hero, a professional Redditeer by the monicer u/xdc_lis, who shall henceforth be referred to as Lizzie Marvel!
Twas a common pastime of trolls and ne’er do wells to invade the worlds of their fellow virtual countrymen and perform acts of varying moral fortitude on them. This usually comes in the form of players “invading” each other’s worlds, be it for cooperation, a duel or dishonorable assassination attempts!
While farming for in-game souls (experience points), our epic protagonist Lizzie spotted a far away rival player seeking to inflict death and destruction!
Luckily for Lizzie, they were adorned in the fashion of nearby NPCs (non-playable characters), so with quick-thinking and shrewd intellect, they drew no weapon except a trusty torch and walked up and down the pasture! The hunt was on and an impostor was… Among Us!
Our deadly invader searched high and low for Lizzie, not unlike every pro-monarchist when the Queen had to “enter a new phase“!
Lizzie’s mega-minded strategy of hiding in plain sight was a success and the invader soon left, never to return again.
The End (or as the Swedish say… SLUT).
Product Poems:
There was once a lass so tiny, Tina. Who wonders land, borders, Tsushima? Excuse me miss, but I must dismiss your credentials from… Shujin Academia.
There was once a young woman called Aloy, who’s south-end faced west like McCoys! Surely forbidden, so purely well-hidden, till coming under Lottie‘s employ.
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