When in doubt, insult one out! Click here for my last “explained in insults” homage blog on Elden Ring gameplay tips. Now without further ado, call me a policeman getting railed by David Cameron, because you’re about to experience roasting that’s only been reserved for the spit until now!

Now, I know, boo hoo, my blogs don’t have videos embedded- TOUGH TITTY MASERATI, sometimes we can’t have nice things, so click here for the Elden Ring story trailer shown at The Game Awards or carry on reading like the meek little bookworm you are! And because some of you have memory spans short enough to make Dory feel cocky, feel free to check our coverage of the Elden Ring 19-Minute gameplay reveal if you’re so inclined. Good? Good!

Port Won: Contex: Elden Ring will be dropping February 25th 2022, but if- no, you WANT to get the pre-order copies we have here at Go2Games if you want to get at the game with a couple handy-dandy extras. And lo and behold, I’ve got a blog on the different Elden Ring Pre-Order bonuses too!

Now for the story: The world and lore was largely made by George RR Martin, so imagine my shock at the primary Elden Ring setting being the creatively named “Lands Between”… LANDS BETWEEN WHAT GEORGE? Cleavage? Gatwick Airport? The British Isles? AQUAMAN!? We’ll find out during the game.

Now, to heavily paraphrase the story trailer’s narrator:

“Bruuh, like, there was these thieves. And they took the death rune. And like, I need my runes man. Like. This is like, a particular strand of death rune I’m not allergic to man. So like. If you could get it for me? That’d be great? And maybe some burgers, fried chicken, a pizza, and fix The Titular Elden Ring to prevent the fall of our society and pantheon of Gods, like, only if you’re cool with that” – The Narrator.

Also, the game’s opening NPCs really like poking fun at how you don’t have a catgirl maid waiting on you hand and foot… At least, that’s what I think “Maidenless” means, but who cares! No VaatiVidya lore analysis till you can do 50 parries with your knuckles!

I hope that Titular Elden Ring stays broken if only because I can imagine where some of you will put it, and probably not on your finger!

And FromSoftware, please try not to have such mean NPCs poking fun at the player… I mean, that’s MY job!

Product Poems:

Dank Souls. Dank memes. Freddy? Liz? Dank Queens. Smash both. LEGO Ninja team.

There was once an AMIIBO called Belmont. Who loved to yeet axes in Vermont. With a whip and a thong, Chrom soon came along, and said “Lottie promised me a bouffant”!

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The post Elden Ring Story Trailer At Game Awards! Insult Explanation! first appeared on Get2Gaming.

PSST, if you want to land those sweet sumptuously sultry pre-order bonuses for Elden Ring covered in this trailer, get your pre-order for Elden Ring Xbox One or Elden Ring PlayStation 4 here at Go2Games!

And click here for a breakdown of the recent gameplay preview covering the reveals of in-game mechanics in combat, the open-world and more. FromSoftware’s upcoming game directed by industry auteur Hidetaka Miyazaki with a story written by George RR Martin of Game of Thrones fame is set to release on February 25th of 2022. Alongside the game will be various limited Pre-Order Editions of Elden Ring featuring varying combinations of extra content.

The digital Standard Edition pre-order of Elden Ring comes with a bonus gesture for your character and digital adventure guide. The Digital Deluxe Edition includes the game, a digital version of the art book, the game’s soundtrack and previously-mentioned pre-order bonuses.The Collector’s Edition comes with a 9-inch statue of Malenia The Blade of Miquella, a 40-page hardcover art book and more. For more on the other Edition bonuses, click here.

Specs released by Bandai Namco on Elden Ring:

• PC: Resolution of 3840x2160p, a framerate of up to 60 FPS, support for HDR and ray tracing (after a requisite patch).
• PlayStation 4: Resolution of 1920x1080p. Runs at 30 FPS. HDR-supported.
• PS4 Pro: Checkerboard resolution of 3200x1800p Runs at 30 FPS. HDR-Supported.
• PlayStation 5: Resolution of 3840x2160p. Runs at 60 FPS. Elden Ring for PlayStation 5 also includes optional Quality and Performance modes players can choose between.

See the listed screenshot below for specifics on performance for the Xbox port of Elden Ring:

With the ‘full cross-generation compatibility’ function on Xbox consoles, one can transfer their progress on Elden Ring from one console to another. For example, if I was on Xbox One X at home, but wanted to bring my copy of the game to Tinybox Tim‘s house without losing progress, I could yeet it out the console, ram it into Timmy’s Xbox Series S, Bob’s your Uncle, Fanny’s your aunt!

Time hastens on, friend. There is no fitter moment than now.

Pre-order #ELDENRING: https://t.co/oooEiDSP1X pic.twitter.com/h2Umcp5IH3

— ELDEN RING (@ELDENRING) November 4, 2021

Now with all that out the way, here’s My Personal Opinion on the Graphics Sitch: Honestly, all them are great. I say this as someone who couldn’t set up a Twitch stream, let alone a gaming PC, but all in all, good stuff all around. Now, those of you who clicked on this are probably really into super-ultra-mega-sexy high quality graphics and that’s completely cool, the heart wants what the heart wants. That said, taking this extra bit of wiggle room in my word count to say graphics aren’t always the be-all end-all of a good gaming experience. Easy to say now considering a game “looking good” is basically the barest minimum of positive praise that even most bad games today can get, but mechanics are important too. All about that yin-yang balance y’all.

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The post Elden Ring Console and PC Performance + Pre-Order Editions first appeared on Get2Gaming.