When in doubt, insult one out! Click here for my last “explained in insults” homage blog on Elden Ring gameplay tips. Now without further ado, call me a policeman getting railed by David Cameron, because you’re about to experience roasting that’s only been reserved for the spit until now!

Now, I know, boo hoo, my blogs don’t have videos embedded- TOUGH TITTY MASERATI, sometimes we can’t have nice things, so click here for the Elden Ring story trailer shown at The Game Awards or carry on reading like the meek little bookworm you are! And because some of you have memory spans short enough to make Dory feel cocky, feel free to check our coverage of the Elden Ring 19-Minute gameplay reveal if you’re so inclined. Good? Good!

Port Won: Contex: Elden Ring will be dropping February 25th 2022, but if- no, you WANT to get the pre-order copies we have here at Go2Games if you want to get at the game with a couple handy-dandy extras. And lo and behold, I’ve got a blog on the different Elden Ring Pre-Order bonuses too!

Now for the story: The world and lore was largely made by George RR Martin, so imagine my shock at the primary Elden Ring setting being the creatively named “Lands Between”… LANDS BETWEEN WHAT GEORGE? Cleavage? Gatwick Airport? The British Isles? AQUAMAN!? We’ll find out during the game.

Now, to heavily paraphrase the story trailer’s narrator:

“Bruuh, like, there was these thieves. And they took the death rune. And like, I need my runes man. Like. This is like, a particular strand of death rune I’m not allergic to man. So like. If you could get it for me? That’d be great? And maybe some burgers, fried chicken, a pizza, and fix The Titular Elden Ring to prevent the fall of our society and pantheon of Gods, like, only if you’re cool with that” – The Narrator.

Also, the game’s opening NPCs really like poking fun at how you don’t have a catgirl maid waiting on you hand and foot… At least, that’s what I think “Maidenless” means, but who cares! No VaatiVidya lore analysis till you can do 50 parries with your knuckles!

I hope that Titular Elden Ring stays broken if only because I can imagine where some of you will put it, and probably not on your finger!

And FromSoftware, please try not to have such mean NPCs poking fun at the player… I mean, that’s MY job!

Product Poems:

Dank Souls. Dank memes. Freddy? Liz? Dank Queens. Smash both. LEGO Ninja team.

There was once an AMIIBO called Belmont. Who loved to yeet axes in Vermont. With a whip and a thong, Chrom soon came along, and said “Lottie promised me a bouffant”!

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The post Elden Ring Story Trailer At Game Awards! Insult Explanation! first appeared on Get2Gaming.

Considering the Elden Ring resolution and performance info, the pre-order bonuses (wink wink, nudge nudge, got em here), the 20 minute gameplay preview and the confirmed February 25th release date, it’s been a good month for Elden Ring hype lately!

The good folks at FromSoftware have released some pre-release tips and tricks for stealth and combat, but I’m an artiste, I fancy myself a bit of an auteur at the best of times and in the words of legendary director Tuentin Quarantino, “good artists steal”! So in a loving homage to Windette (a favourite YouTuber you may remember from my article on Gaming YouTubers), sit down and strap on for Elden Ring gameplay tips… Explained in Insults Edition!

Part Won… The Plot- It must be your lucky day because Elden Ring has implemented a crouching mechanic for stealth purposes, but let’s not mince words, that thing might as well be renamed The Never Finding Titanite foundation, or NFT’s for short– MUCH LIKE YOUR PEEN! And thank goodness I don’t have to handhold you throughout the open world because even the developers predicted how your namby pamby booter patooter needs “Grace’s Guidance”, a Ghost of Tsushima-style way of nudging the player in the right direction.

These rays of sunshine will help direct you to Sites of Grace, the in-game equivalent to bonfires and resting spots you use to recoup your health. If the Elden Ring preview’s anything to go by, majestic flame-beastial flighty f*ck-masters of galactic destruction CAN AND WILL be roaming the map looking for fresh (or in your case, soiled) meat! So rest when you find one and don’t be afraid to trek off the beaten path if your Tinybox-Tim-looking ass is getting handed to you one too many times. Good? Good!

Part Too… Stelf: Hiding in grass provides the one-two combonus of hiding you in plain sight from enemies AND increasing your damage for stealth kills from behind and above because any enemy that has to stare down your ugly mug before dying would probably come back to haunt your ass for revenge!

The Shattering tainted these lands with chaos. Even a traveler who follows the path of grace must be cunning and cautious in equal measures.

Join the Official #ELDENRING Discord: https://t.co/idnaw8ihTy pic.twitter.com/CxZLTMSLc7

— ELDEN RING (@ELDENRING) November 8, 2021

Pawt Free: Comb-at? Honey. Baby. Darling. LIGHT OF MY LIFE, I’m not gonna hurt ya. I’m just gonna use stance-breaking on you and score a critical hit as a result. “Charge attacks and jump attacks make it particularly easy to break an enemy’s stance” according to FromSoftware. I see you Sekiro fans in the back nodding, but don’t unclench your cheeks till you can parry the magical equivalent of an atom bomb with your pinky toe! The fact that your extra Boss Gauntlet mode familiarity functions like the Elden Ring “Stake of Marika” statues that act as respawn points after boss battles is completely luck-based! Back in my day, we had to run up a mile-high winding staircase with arrows reducing our pelvic thrustal performance and by extension, having lost half a health bar before even beginning to sign the death waver for an ensuing boss fight!

Elden Ring  will release on PC, PS4, PS5, Xbox One, and Xbox Series X/S.

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The post Elden Ring Gameplay Tips Explained in Insults! first appeared on Get2Gaming.

G’day gamers! Today’s the day I get EVEN MORE artistic freedom than I usually do (which is still a lot to begin with). So sit down and strap-on as I guide you through this handy little guide for any gamers looking for entertaining must-watch YouTubers. Everything from letsplays to video essays, feel free to comment your favourite gaming-focused YouTubers to add to the conversation.

Every YouTuber I discuss will have their channel and a couple recommended videos attached, just click on the underlined areas. Also find links to the G2G store where you can buy most of the games mentioned in this article. Now let’s get this bread!

Razbuten.

It’s only fitting my first recommendation is the bloke who’s claim to YouTube fame revolves around the wild and wonderful experience of introducing games to a non-gamer. Specifically, the lady he lives with (AKA his wife). In addition to his ‘Gaming for a Non-Gamer‘ video series, his video on ‘The Best Channels You Probably Missed‘ introduced me to the channel ‘Overanalysing Avatar‘, a hilarious love letter to all the surprising details you missed on your first watch (plus the occasional diatribe on how Katara shouldn’t canonically know what a door is). As a fellow YouTuber and creative myself, I found Razbuten’s ‘I hope this video doesn’t suck‘ to be shockingly relatable in a way I wasn’t expecting, but I imagine most people with any kind of block in their writing, art or other activities will.

Windette

Not alot of people know this about me, but I, to use parliamentary language, hecking stan Hollow Knight! Windette makes hilarious tutorial and analysis videos where the Unique Selling Point is that he explains everything… In insults. Click here for the lad’s ‘Explained In Insults’ playlist of videos, featuring everything from Hollow Knight, to Greek mythological lore and whatever the living hell Muck is!

Jim Sterling

In case it wasn’t too clear from my article on patents in gaming, Jim Stephanie Sterling definitely made an impression on me, dare I say a Jimpression even. Playing a role in exposing predatory business practices and worker misconduct in the gaming industry with a heaped tablespoon of colourfully strong language, the Jimquisition series does not disappoint for anyone looking to see dishonest CEOs and corrupt companies get roasted and slammed. Click here for their playlist. The most recent video is on Microtransactions in gaming as an issue of accessibility and another not far down on ‘The Man Who Loved An Abortion Ban’ is also a good one.

Polygon / Brian David Gilbert

I put both of these because Brian David Gilbert’s ‘Unraveled’ series for Polygon is 100% of the reason I subscribed to Polygon in the first place. Click here for the Unraveled playlist, or as I like to call it, ’29 episodes of pure unadulterated bliss’. The episodes on ‘No one asked, but I found Mortal Kombat’s Best Cuddler‘ and ‘Ranking Bowser’s Military Hierarchy‘, which DEFINITELY doesn’t have any kind of real-world parallels in the absolute slightest😉. For those of you less into gaming though, have a gander at BDG’s channel for some good-ol-fashioned absurdist randomness, you won’t regret it.

Sunburned Albino

Mr Albino’s claim to YouTube fame is being one of the early pioneers of ‘boss ranking‘ videos! Bloodborne, Nioh, the Dark Souls series, Hollow Knight and more… But wait, there’s more! The lad has also done plenty of ‘waifu rankings’, where he compares some of the best female characters of different game series working from the bottom to the top (kinda like Drake). Waifu rankings include coverage on Persona 5, the Danganronpa series, Final Fantasy 7 and more! Lad’s video game music challenges are also a pretty big bop, so fingers crossed he’ll bring them back if he sees this.

Lixian TV

With Haloween just around the corner, let’s have a butcher’s at someone who’s main reason I watch is for his amazing and usually hilarious videos on horror games! Lixian also makes animated video highlights for Markiplier, another big-time YouTuber more in the letsplay scene. For the videos of Lixian I recommend,’Top 10 scariest moments in gaming‘ and ‘I made a game under 24 hours‘ are pretty entertaining insights into different ways horror in games can present themselves and an indie gaming competition specifically.

Super Butter Buns

So Super Butter Buns’ Breath of The Wild For Beginners video showed up in my feed and I was like-

And thank goodness she had a lot more videos! I was watching her give guides on games I didn’t even have at the time because her energetic demeanor and jokes were just that fun. Besides her For Beginners videos covering everything from Resident Evil 7 to Overwatch, her channel also introduced me to the upcoming indie title ‘Lost Soul Aside‘, which, based on the gameplay shown so far, looks phenomenal! Amazing spectacle-fighter gameplay in the vein of Bayonetta, Devil May Cry and Nier Automata AND graphics smoother than a melted butter on a freshly sauteed steak? Keep this one on your radar folks.

Great Video Games Mentioned at great deals! Click on the linked titles

Dark Souls games and merch (Especially that Witcher 3 Dark Souls 3 double-pack, sweet deal!)

Nier Automata

Devil May Cry 5: PS4, Xbox, Special Edition, the DMC HD Collection and more.

Resident Evil games and merch: RE 2 Nemesis Plushie, replica unicorn locket, themed coasters, PSVR-Compatible Resident Evil 7, Resident Evil 7 Xbox version, Resident Evil Village (PS5).

Overwatch Xbox Legendary Edition

Mortal Kombat games and merch: MK X, MK11 Xbox Premium Collection, PS4 MK11-Scorpion’s Revenge bundle, figurine collectibles of Sub-Zero, Raiden and Spawn.

Mario games and merch: Game and Watch Super Mario Bros, Mario Maker 3DS, Nintendo Switch packaged with Mario Kart 8, Aluminium Nintendo Switch Case, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, Super Mario Galaxy Wii, Mario Maker 2 (Nintendo Switch), New Super Mario Bros U, Super Mario Party (on Nintendo Switch), Mario Golf Super Rush, Mario Kart 7 3DS, Super Mario Odyssey, Super Mario 3D All Stars (Nintendo Switch) and more!

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The post Beginner’s Guide to Gaming YouTubers first appeared on Get2Gaming.