Wordle DESTROYS Criminal with GRAMMAR and LOGIC!


It’s good to be back! I swear, you turn your back from blogs for one week and BOOM! Wordle becomes a thing, Sifu drops, Uncharted drops, it’s a veritable dropping factory as far as things to cover go!

Wordle is a new free game accessible via Facebook and Messenger. Aim of the game is that every day, you get 4 or 5 guesses to what the word of the day is. The correct letters in a certain order light up if you get close enough and BOOM: Grammar nazis everywhere finally have a socially acceptable reason to mock “there” mates for using “they’re” incorrectly! Bob’s your uncle, fanny’s your aunt!

Wordle has recently been bought out by The New York Times for a ‘seven figure sum‘ due to it’s success, so needless to say, things are good for the devs (I hope).

How did Wordle ‘Destroy’ A Criminal? Sit down and strap-on, it’s story time!

CBS has recently covered the  attempted kidnapping of Denyse Holt (no relations to Raymond, or this would’ve been a much different story). The kidnapper broke into her home stark-bollock naked with a pair of scissors, forcing Ms Holt around the house while clipping phone wires and taking any nearby knives. He also forced her to take a bath with him, but as far as I’m aware, no other physical harm came to Ms Holt.

Sometime later, Holt’s daughter Meredith was concerned that something may have happened to her Mum when she realised she hadn’t sent her her daily Wordle update in the morning. This lead to friends and family calling the police and SWAT once they found out Ms Holt wasn’t reading any messages and BOOM, she was saved by the fuzz 17 hours later.

Ms Holt is safe and the criminal has been apprehended.

What took me so long… Don’t know how much detail I can go into, but the short version is: My colleagues and I took part in a sort of ‘beta test’ for lack of a better word for an upcoming collaborative project with Go2Games and others.

What on God’s Green Earth Possessed You To Write About This Serious Topic So Flippantly: I love me some dark humour, but even I’ll admit this probably wasn’t the best thing to re-debut with. A good friend of mine is basically a Wordle weeb, but by the time I wrote out my jokes in the first half… Well… Made my bed, may as well lay in it- TO THE PRODUCT POEMS:

Cities. I’m hustling and bustling while bussy be bussin. “Daaaamn, Barbie“!

There’s an AMIIBO from Tazmilly Village. With magic so strong, he could pillage! With a thrust and some thunder from somewhere down-under, he caught a glimpse of Lottie’s cleavage.

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